demons
by mystiques
Summary: "But that's all he can stand to say—when he knows that this was ALL HIS FAULT and he just doesn't know what to do, and he cries out in agony as he realizes he still loves her, and he had caused her death." / the story of josh hotz and alicia rivera, and how much love can cause. / au, ooc & josh x alicia / one-shot


**demons;**

this is for everyone. i love you all! :D

**notes **ll well, i wrote this over a span of about four hours, wasting my time. :) i got my inspiration from the song called "demons" by imagine dragons, just like the sadness...lol i don't exactly know, but yeah. :)

please don't favorite without leaving a review!

* * *

**i.** demons

.

"Please..please!" Alicia sobs in front of Josh's door, tears streaking down her face, "please, let it be a dream! Please! Tell me there's something I don't yet know? Something else you're hiding?"

No answer. Not a peep comes from the door, not a single noise—Alicia then knows that Josh, her sweet, lovable, and amazing boyfriend—was truly gone. He was gone, faded away. Alicia's life was suddenly so cold, so frail—and all of a sudden, she becomes aware of everything happening around her. Massie's fight with Derrick a few doors to the right becomes so crystal clear, Alicia feels like crying some more, this time along with Massie.. Kristen's sobbing in her room—what's happening?

And suddenly, it seems to Alicia that nothing will ever be the same. Her world will never be as happy-go-lucky as it was before her (ex)-boyfriend, Josh Hotz has cheated on her. You didn't hear wrong—Josh Hotz, the one and only boy who seemed perfect for Alicia—he was gone from her life. Alicia stares solemnly as she takes a seat on the stairs. Inside, she's hoping with all her heart that maybe—just maybe, Josh Hotz feels remorse. And maybe Alicia has a chance after all. Maybe what they had was real. But that doesn't seem possible as Alicia wonders how Josh could have _possibly_ chosen Olivia Ryan, that traitor, over her.

And maybe, just maybe, her life could go back to normal. But fate doesn't work like that. So here Alicia Rivera is, sitting out here in the rain, her silky raven-colored hair flowing behind her. Her eyes are blood-shot and swollen; she can barely open them without feeling sleepy. Her nose is completely messed up— it's completely clogged, Alicia can barely breathe through her nose, and Alicia stifles back a loud yawn—she can not sit here in the public, in her disheveled state. She sniffles, and standing up, turns her back on the dorm and runs away—for the first time in her life, she is actually running as fast as she can. As she runs, Alicia pulls her wet, rain-soaked lavender sweater closer to her, forgetting the fact that it is completely soaked and won't help her warm up.

Alicia runs as fast as she can, which reminds her of the gingerbread man in those little kid stories—except, she's running away. Running away from her problems, her friends and their problems, and just—her life. She sighs as she stops in front of her middle school, OCD, and she stares into the dark, looking out, her face expressionless. But then, it seems as if suddenly, Alicia sees something. Something that morphs her face into an expression that can only be stated as grief. Her eyes glaze over, and tears fall steadily down her cheeks, ruining her already ruined makeup even more. Alicia lifts her face up to the gray clouds, and she cries out, "Why? Why me?" And then she collapses and doesn't stir.

/ /

Alicia's best friend in the the entire world, Massie Block, wonders where Alicia could have possibly gone. Now that her fight with Derrick was over, and they were all patched up— Massie was looking forward to a night of fun and gossip with one of her besties. She tries calling Alicia's cell phone—but it immediately goes to voicemail, and Massie's suddenly a tiny bit worried. Alicia Rivera _never_ fails to answer her phone. Massie shakes her head, refusing to believe that, and then she calls Josh. She waits for what seems like forever, and finally, Josh picks up.

Massie sighs in relief as she twirls a lock of dark brown hair around her index finger. "Hey, Josh, is Alicia at your place?" Massie holds her breath as she waits for Josh to reply. Massie shakes her head in disappointment when Josh hangs up after hearing the word "Alicia", and Massie swears that there had been a heartbroken cry on Josh's end of the line. Massie rolls her eyes at her own thoughts, and decides that maybe Alicia had gone to bed early. Hiding away from her dreadful thoughts of Alicia being missing, with a click of the remote control, the lights are off and Massie lays on her bed, thinking of how Friday nights had gone in the seventh grade.

And meanwhile, fate messes things up some more for Alicia Rivera. Some random pedestrian (who was reported to have dark red hair), has found Alicia there on the sidewalk, her eyes half-closed, her face covered in trails of tears, each leaving a black mark on her tanned skin. Alicia's heart rate was slowing down, and the stranger just — she _remembered_ Alicia from middle school. She _just_ can't help remembering things, and then, that girl—she, too, cries out, but for her, it's agony that's bothering her.

Welcome to the world of grief, Dylan Marvil. Just as Dylan's pale, limp hands dial 9-1-1, she can't help but reach out and stroke her friend's hair—and gently close Alicia's eyelids. "You'll be okay," she whispers into Alicia's ear, and Dylan swears that a tiny smile had formed on Alicia's face. Dylan suddenly remembers the phone in her hand, and she looks at it wearily, with up to no energy left in her, and croaks out, "Octavian Country Day." Then, she grabs Alicia's hand and collapses beside her, waiting for the doctors to come and just _help _the two of them from their little reunion.

/ /

The paramedics rush to the rescue, and much to their surprise—instead of finding on unconscious girl and another one who is alive, they find two girls, each on the sidewalk—and the two pairs of eyes are peacefully closed, as if the two of them were just sleeping. They recognize the redhead as Dylan Marvil, but they don't exactly know the beautiful dark-haired girl.

Shrugging, the doctors get the two of them, and the car goes off, loud and annoying whirring sounds filling the night, awaking several families, who wonder what's going on. The paparazzi is huge— many reporters and friends, classmates and teachers—they all come to visit Dylan and ask what's going on. Dylan simply smiles softly and whispers, "We're fine."

It's a little tragedy for the world—daughter of Merri Lee Marvil was found unconscious one night. The gossip goes around, the talk is everywhere. But one girl doesn't even listen to this gossip. One girl doesn't even know where she is. And this one girl...she was at the little accident. Yes, Alicia Rivera is forgotten. Somehow, she has been left out, and the world honestly has no idea that Alicia is the one who is hurt the most. _Alicia_ is the one who had sat there in the rain, sobbing her eyes out.

Yet, the reporters, teachers, just _everyone_ in the nation—they do not remember Alicia Rivera.

/ /

Alicia opens her eyes, the bright light blinding her. Where am I? she wonders, looking around curiously. The last thing she remembers is sitting there in front of OCD, crying her eyes out. She looks around, panicking, and she cries out for Josh, for Massie, for Dylan, for Kristen—and even for Claire, who was oh—so far away. She takes in her surroundings—it's all gray, and Alicia coughs, and looking at the bib-like napkin covering her chest, she shudders upon seeing the blood, and a lone tear falls from her large brown eyes, which, incidentally, are swollen._  
_

A nurse, dressed in a dorky white uniform and a plain white apron, comes rushing in, smiling sweetly. "Dear, your parents are coming!" Alicia sits up then, not because she wants to see her parents, but because she wants to know what the hell is going on. First, her mother walks in—her perfect mother. She strokes Alicia's hair and smiles softly, tears streaking down her cheeks. Alicia wonders what is wrong, but then her father, Len Rivera, comes into the room, and joins his wife by their daughter. Alicia smiles sadly as she looks up at her parents—it's kind of like a family reunion after being gone at college for a few months, and Alicia greatly wishes her friends can be here.

All of a sudden, Alicia feels like she must puke. She realizes she has a stomachache, and it seems to Alicia that the room is like a freezer—it's so cold—but her parents are wearing short sleeves! She coughs, and more blood spews onto the cloth on her chest, and then Alicia realizes it is coming from her mouth. And suddenly, it's hard to breathe. So hard, that Alicia is just sputtering and gasping—she just doesn't feel well. She stops short, turns to her parents, and asks, "Mother, what's happening to me?" , before coughing again.

Her mother looks out the window, her eyes darkening, and she turns to her sick daughter. "Alicia, dear—it seems as if you've gotten some illness—I forget the name—that will..." Her voice trails off, and Alicia's warm brown eyes widen. It's as if she's five again, and afraid of death. Alicia sighs as her parents parade out the room—apparently, their visiting time is up—and she wonders how much longer she has to live.

Alicia longs for Josh, but then she remembers the previous night. She cries, and pounds her fists. "Why, Josh, why?" Alicia is heartbroken, and she just needs someone to be there—whether Massie or Josh, she doesn't care. But she needs them, and they aren't here. And she collapses onto the bed and falls into a deep sleep, hoping that when she wakes up—if she does—the world would be better.

/ /

Alicia awakes to see a brunette beauty sitting next to her, the girl's amber eyes looking Alicia over anxiously. Alicia opens her mouth and attempts to speak, but instead, a croak comes out and she coughs. Again and again. Massie looks down in grief and wipes her tears. "Leesh," Massie sighs as she strokes her best friend's hair.

As Alicia lies there on the hospital bed, she listens as Massie comforts her, and it seems as if her adrenaline has pumped up—she just doesn't want to live anymore, in this hardship—and she just wants to say her final words before just disappearing from the world. "Mass," Alicia sighs, staring into her best friend's eyes, "I just wanted to say—you've been a great friend—and I...I just can't stay here any longer, and just tell Dyl, Kris, and Claire...I will miss them. And I'll see you some day in the future."

Massie's eyes fill with tears. "Leesh...please!"

Alicia smiles sadly as she takes up all her remaining energy and sputters out, "Massie, I don't have anything left for me to lose. I don't have a loving boyfriend. My friends—all except for you—are falling apart from me, away from me—and I just don't have anything to lose, and it seems the world could to better without me." Massie opens her beautifully glossed mouth to protest, but Alicia just simply smiles forlornly and closes her eyes, ready to leave this fucking world.

Massie cries as she holds Alicia's hand, which is slowly becoming colder and colder and colder and COLDER and Massie can just feel Alicia DYING IN HER GRIP; and she cries openly as she wonders what bad could have possibly happened in a day's worth of time—and then she realizes. Alicia didn't feel wanted—her life had pretty much fallen apart—she didn't have a need or will to live. Massie sobs as she thinks of this, and holding Alicia's hand, hugs her dying friend.

Alicia's heart is slowing down as Massie hugs her, and she senses it, and counts slowly—even though she's sad for her friend, she just can't help it. Ten/nine/seven/five/four/two/one...

And then it completely stops, and Alicia's strong grip on Massie's hand disappears, and Massie sighs as she looks down on her friend, her beautiful friend—Alicia Rivera—and she whispers, "Rest in peace, Leesh." She smiles grimly and as Massie leaves the room, she calls out to Alicia's dead body, "We need to let it go. Rest in peace, Alicia." She blows a kiss towards Alicia, and she can swear that her best friend has winked at her, but Massie blinks and Alicia doesn't stir.

She shakes the feeling and departs, and leaves Alicia in that room, alone—when the nurse arrives, she cries out as well, and they give Alicia Rivera a nice little burial.

/ /

Five years later, Josh fingers his dead ex-girlfriend's grave, it's cold, hard stone roughly grazing his fingers. His eyes water, and wincing, he lays a bouquet of flowers by the grave, and mutters, "Alicia..I'm sorry." But that's all he can stand to say—when he knows that this was ALL HIS FAULT and he just doesn't know what to do, and he cries out in agony as he realizes he still loves her, and he had caused her death.

They've been searching everywhere for Josh Hotz, but he's nowhere to be found. Maybe the two lovers have reunited at last.

.

**fin.**


End file.
